Thursday, March 11, 2010


Oh, you....
Boys with guitars. Is there some rule somewhere that says no matter how dorky the boy (or the song) some girl, somewhere will swoon over him? I mean, yes, at times it can be very annoying to see that same kid in the tattered hoodie sitting on the lawn outside your dorm, singing like a parrot in a blender. But it's not always like that, there are some real gems of male musicians on every campus.

In my experience there are four classifications of what my male friends lovingly refer to as "acoustic guitar douches" or the "acoustadouche" (ah-coo-stah-doosh) if you will.

1) The guy who looks like Mclovin' and sounds like the aforementioned parrot: squawking, flat, and often painful to watch .

2) The guy who is a little more homely than the rest, but he actually has a semi-decent voice. The only reason he hasn't cut a record deal is he looks more like Glen Hansard than John Mayer.

3) There's the attention whore acoustadouche. He looks like Nick Jonas, never without a slouchy beanie even in 80 degree weather. He's in it purely for the ladies and plays the same two songs over and over, steadily growing louder with each repetition.

4) This guy has it all. Looks, repertoire, and a friendly attitude to boot. The only reason this guy (and possibly his friend on the bongos) hasn't been signed is because he plays purely for his own entertainment and would much rather finish art school first to design his own music label with his close knit group of equally artsy friends.
How can you tell the genuine from the Jonas? Your best bet is to take a look, listen...and you'll figure it out soon enough.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

I Love College

The Agenda:
Well, firstly, and most importantly is something that has been bothering me
(Theodore Geisel eat your heart out :P)
Basically it's like this:
1) Animal Collective exists
2) People actually buy them
and finally,
3)Music critics have obviously left the car running with the windows up, garage door down

Now, I have nothing against Animal Collective, oh no. I think it's fine for a group of indie hipster musicians to groove. It's neat-o to show what they think of life, love, and what have you through catchy little songs with titles like 'In the Flowers' or 'My Girls'. I have just one complaint:

I refuse to suck their metaphorical, indie/hipster cock.

I understand the current wave on college campuses (especially mine) is being into hipster bands, plaid shirts, leggings, shoes your grandmother wore,and mod/surf bum hair. These are the kids that are 'hip' enough to say "Hey, I like Lady Gaga and Wyclef Jean" or "Kanye's last album wasn't that bad, but Oracular Spectacular is my go-to mix!". Sure, I'll grant there are a few genuine ones out there, folks who have toiled relentlessly to avoid any corporate taint, who live the hippie philosophy of their parents and dream of the day when they own their very own music label or free trade coffee shop, or any number of other bohemian dreams. However, I find it appalling to see swarms and swarms of people flaunting the 'Williamsburg' look. They buy their American Apparel basics, grab a few hundred dollars in ratty accessories from the local Salvation Army, strap on the ipod, and strut like they're ignoring the world through those huge wayfarers of theirs. 

Am I missing something here?  Is it just me, or does spending gobs of cash to look like you don't have gobs of cash defeat your message? I'm pretty sure Steve Jobs won't lose sleep at night if you rally against 'the man' and yet spend every cent you get downloading music from 'the man' to fuel your hypocrisy.

And another note, ladies, would you please quit having random ass household appliances tattooed on your body? You're not being postmodern, unless it truly has a purpose, you're being a dumbass, and showing everyone who sees that eggbeater on your wrist that you're a total trendwhore.

I'm not totally guiltless when it comes to all this indie hipster fever. I too own a substantial scarf collection, I value my updated mp3 player, and the only way to get me to stop buying sunglasses is to make them illegal. But my point is I know I'm just cashing in on what's cool now, along with things I genuinely like. I also know not to take it seriously, because like any other trend this one will come and go. All those basement parties you went to stuffed in a 60s shift dress, sipping pabst and awkwardly staring at guy who looks like Paul Bunyon in a suit will be a distant memory.

So, where does this leave you? What's your opinion on all this craziness? Love it, Love to hate it, or just hate it? Do you lick the ground Ben Gibbard slouches across? Or do you shoot water out your nose in fury anytime Arcade Fire is uttered anywhere near the words "good" and "band"?

I'm a curious little cat :)


Isn't this all kinds of fun? You know, I've been stalking, erm, browsing through several different blogs, and it's funny to think how few of the people who write them are my age. Most are 'media critics' or 'media professionals' who want a spiffy way to get noticed. Who are looking to seem 'with it', latching onto a way to network. You've got blogs about sports teams, cooking, Music, a helluva lot of Chinese/Spanish ones, and hundreds if not thousands of, you guessed it...blogs about blogs. Isn't that just Tropic Thunder-esque.(if you have no bloody clue what I'm talking about see

I find it kind of idiotic that some people get traffic and get their blog noticed by writing about what they're writing about. Kind of seems like it's cheating the system, like the way Jon Stewart thumbs his nose at mainstream media, and yet there he is, getting as much, if not more, recognition than most 'real' journalist.(Tangent FTW)

But I digress. I guess the whole point of going at these 'advanced communication distribution channels' (a.k.a the interwebz) is because people think they have something worth saying, something that people want to hear, need to hear, crave to know.

Spoiler Alert:
Not really.

Even I am not beyond recognizing this will more than likely be a futile attempt to keep track of...well, whatever nonsense I happen to spew from my filth orifice to my sludge computing devices. ( I bet I really lost some folks there) Basically, blog people, stop taking yourselves so seriously. Nothing you say can be that important if you're willing to let hundreds or thousands (if you're lucky) of unfiltered, unadulterated eyeballs slink onto your page and tear apart every single particle you happen to type. Anything worth saying is worth putting into responsible text.

Blogs on the internet are like those 'abstract' paintings you did in high school. Telling yourself people just don't 'appreciate your vision' does not mean you are a misunderstood artist. It means you haven't sold your shitty paintings the right way, to the right people. With enough useless gesticulation and novelty any Jackson Pollock wannabe can be...well...Jackson Pollock.
It just goes to show, it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

However, my macaroni sculptures are priceless ;)

So, I have therefore decided to throw my proverbial hat into the ring (waste of a good hat if you ask me). I will be bringing you an onslaught of useless rants, useful rants, random facts, calculated information, crying, explosive diarrhea,indie hipsters to beat up, a giant hamster bubble,and maybe some fun tidbit you can recount to your friends like you thought of it all by yourself (how cute :3).