Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Survival of the Fittest
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
As Beatles Sing..'HELP!'
Thought #1:
What.The.Fuck. Why does this have to happen now? We could have gone on, just fine, with things at their current pace
Thought#2:
Why on earth can't I decide what to do?! I've never been this weak before. If I don't decide, they're happy. If I do decide, they're unhappy.
Thought#3:
Why can't they just let me grow up? I'm their kid, true, but I should be allowed to make a choice without feeling emotionally blackmailed!
Thought#4:
I could do it. I could just leave......but I can't. I already have no money, no job, no visible means of support. Anything I do have to help is here. I'm trapped by my position.
Thought#5:
There has to be someone else I can talk to....everyone available is related/knows us. And I always get pro-family rhetoric, anti-boyfriend talk. I want a balance of both, not the moral majority down my throat.
Thought#6:
I. AM. NOT. TOO.YOUNG. I was old enough to be 'let loose' into university on my own. Old enough to decide when to go to a party and when to study. Old enough to mess up my academic record on my own. Old enough to be let alone with *gasp* boys. Old enough to vote, be sued, pay bills, sign contracts, get sent to bill collectors. Old enough to have sex with a guy. Old enough to be allowed to 'destroy my life'....but clearly not old enough to be trusted to clean up the messes? I'm pretty sure I've done more living in one year than a lot of people can say. I am smart enough to decide these things, and young enough to fix them. So in the most plain and immature way I can think of saying it:
"LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Okay...those are pretty accurate. And, I can say I feel better. I'm sure I'll think of other things but for now...this is exactly how I feel.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Cue Mood Swing #5,000,000,000
Do you know what's fun? Going back through old email accounts and web pages you had forgotten you created. After searching through your memory, you foggily recover all the details to access your account. Unlocking that password is like looking into a forgotten vault. The treasures of your past are all there, just a bit dusty, a bit rusty, and still as solid as ever.
Do you know what's painful? Going back through old email accounts and web pages you had forgotten you created. :(
I have such an internet attention deficit, it's a wonder I don't have more junk scattered throughout than I already do.
It is also a wonder that pregnancy brain, where I'm supposed to forget things, actually makes me remember more vividly all the past. The only difference I guess is the inability to form a coherent thought. At least for very long.
Sure, high school pretty much blows. Unless you have a stick-to-it group of friends who understand you and are just as wacked out as you....college will be your savior :P
I think, the best parts of anything are the first year. Some may be inclined to disagree, but for me personally my best years were Freshman year of high school, Freshman year of college, the first year I did POTP, the first year in choir....all firsts. All untainted by the suckage of time.
You don't really think of your friends as having last names unless the name is part of a nickname or joke. All my college friends I know only by their last names. But they're brand new. And they're all army friends, so the last name thing makes sense.
I almost cried when I realized I had forgotten my old friend's last name. I had seen her only a year and a half ago. We had graduated only a year and a half ago, nearly 2 years now.
I honestly forgot her last name. That is the strangest thing in the whole world.
I feel so awful for it. I know we were all supposed to be long time buddies but now it's not like that at all. Not that I expected perfect communication, oh no. College was sure to erase some of the ties between us, but I don't want to forget them already. I can't forget their names.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Once Upon a Time...
I'm 19 years old.
This is baby numero uno.
I'm at about 23-24 weeks (though they say 26, I think it's just the growth is so rapid.)
What else,what else?....oh yeah. I was a virgin when I got pregnant. Literally. Still 'intact' and all that jazz. Science is a funny thing.
The only thing keeping me from going absolutely ga-ga (as in insane, not dressing in leotards) is getting to talk to my wonderful and understanding boyfriend, and you, internet! :)
I think the best way to keep on top of things for now will be to record my thoughts in this blog, formerly employed to record my snarky and sarcastic observations of my *ugh*peers. No guarantee on it lacking any of the aformentioned sarcasm.
I'm certain, at any point various people who may be reading this will become alarmed at the tone I take on certain topics such as:
*Fun with various illnesses
*Fear and Loathing in La Familia
*Wonder what this food does....
And, my personal favorite,
* How late is too late for abortion?
So, regardless of your persuasions this is about me. This is mine all mine, the one thing I can complain to that doesn't try to give me advice or get personally offended. And, like most blogs, audience participation is encouraged!*cue laugh track*
..............................
.....but seriously, it would be nice every so often to get an opinion from someone who doesn't live in the same house. People get kind of testy after you empty their fridge for the third night in a row. You get the pleasure of an entertaining, hormonal, pregnant trainwreck without the burden of a massive food bill and a water logged couch after crying over puppy commercials(seriously, that's what they WANT you to do).
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Potpourri
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Here Comes the Sun...
{WARNING: SOME CONTENT NSFW (Not Safe for Work) A.K.A some photos are a little 'revealing' }
*I suppose at some point what I post has to become more positive, less caustic, less of a critique of what I see. I mean, you can't be judgmental all the time, can you? Seems that's the direction I'm headed towards. Best of luck to those of you willing to follow me. :P*
At any rate, spring has come to campus, and with it all the vestiges of warmth, sunlight, and people with a serious lack of clothing. I for one can appreciate the sunny skies and lack of heavy sweaters as much as the next person. However, I believe the sort of apparel as shown in beach photos or the one above are good for just that, the beach, not a college campus.
"Yes, I understand you have an urgency in getting the most tan the fastest, after all, summer is only 2 and 1/2 months away."
"No, I don't think wearing a bathing suit you'd be afraid to show in front of your gynecologist is exactly proper attire for a campus lawn."
While I merrily type away, at this very moment, some girl, somewhere on campus is contemplating if the suit she bought online is too 'Brazilian' for the laying out on the green or if it will give her awkward tan lines. Not thinking about the possibility of perverts. Not thinking about how skin damage probability increases exponentially in relation to relative size of suit
EXHIBIT A:
"The One Piece"
This is cute, safe, and fun.
EXHIBIT B:
"The tankini"
A little more revealing, however still very tasteful and adorable
EXHIBIT C:
"The bikini"
This, ladies, is better for the beach. I understand you think wearing just the top with shorts is fine, but please keep in mind that for every girl thinking, "Cute suit" there are at least three guys thinking, "Cute suit...looks better on the ground." Be careful :P
EXHIBIT D:
" Pay-per-view"
Or, more fondly referred to as 'stripper ware'
*These may not represent all the possible ranges of suits, however they certainly have been seen in all sizes and colors on my campus. (Yes. Every. Single. One. Pity me.)*
The point I'm trying to make is perhaps, even if you are a young college person and it's a nice day, that's no excuse for not practicing a little discretion and respecting yourself and those around you.It's not always just us kids on campus, it's walked by teachers, family members, moms and dads, little siblings, government workers, religious personnel, people of community importance. They all care about us, and want us to succeed and not give off an appearance that suggests otherwise.
*Enjoy the day, lay out in the sun, but don't put yourself at health or severe social image risk by what you wear. Prove who you are and what you stand for by what you say or how you act (hopefully, a little less Jenna Jameson).*